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<h1 style="text-align: center;">The Gangsta’s Guide To Watching Chick Flicks</h1> <img src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1318440347/photo/shot-of-a-young-woman-feeling-unhappy-at-home.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=PxZznHbmbNfOhjGjHlz0xUuoFeLGGx15qZ8epBAExpo=" alt="" width="800" /> Make her colored and we're in business. Sponsored Ads Looking For Single Girls Online ? 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It was a lot like seeing the signs, except Ace of Base left me and all I got was Swedish meatballs. *rimshot* How and why I ended up sawing The Vow is unimportant, just know that I did and I may never forgive myself. Any movie being billed as the 2012 version of The Notebook is already starting in the lower rungs of hell so it was no easy convincing to get me to go. But I went, I saw, I conquered. We are Sparta and all that jazz. And it turns out that it wasn’t a bad movie. Overyly sappy? (America) F*ck yeah. But that’s to be expected. But it had some very real moments too; moments that I could totally relate to. And ironically the very thing I HATED about another romantic comedy (The Vow is not a comedy) is the very thing I appreciated about this one. Eh, go figure. But that’s neither here nor there. While I was sitting in the movie theater waiting for the movie to start I noticed a cadre of men being dragged by various women and all of them looked uncomfortable…as did I. See, no man wants to see this movie. Well, most men don’t want to see it anyway. But see it they did because somebody of the boob either forced them, won a date via a bet, or lied and said they were going to see Safe House and pulled the ole switcheroo. Look, any man will tell you and we all know that watching chick flicks is just the price of doing business. You start dating a woman and at some point you will be required to sit and watch some sh*t you’d always hoped you’d never watch. Like the entire lineup of Bravo. Or WEtv. Or anything on Lifetime. And I do mean anything on that network. Moving on. Here’s the funny sh*t about men and chick flicks: we don’t hate them as much as we claim. We just hate the ones that try to manipulate our feelings and draw out emotions and sh*t in crowded, public places. That? Is not cool. That’s how ninjas get robbed. And that is not gangsta. We have to protect our women after watching some movie that drew tears that other people may have seen? Maaaaan, listen. That’s not gully son. Men cry in prison and in the dark. That’s the real spit. So I’ve compiled a quick primer for men out there on how to watch a chick flick and maintain your gangsta. <h2> If you feel emotions rising up in you, kick the chair in front of you…or go to the bathroom</h2> The only thing really ungangsta about chick flicks is that they make us feel chicky. Or what we presume is chicky. So the best way to undo that drama is to start beef with somebody in the theater…by kicking their seat. This works especially well at a Black theater because you know ninjas are ALWAYS down to squab. Excusing yourself is the more sane and educated route, but nobody loses there. And for ninjadom to prosper, somebody has to stay losing. <h2> Laugh at inappropriate times</h2> I remember a looooong time ago in college, me and a group of friends went to see Why Do Fools Fall In Love?, ya know, the movie about the life of Frankie Lymon. Well there’s a scene where Frankie ODs and two chicks I was with BUSTED out laughing. It was then I realized what wusses they were. They were laughing to attempt to mask the fact that they were truly saddened. So as a real G, that’s the way to go. <h2> Pretend that you really aren’t getting caught up in the movie</h2> Face it, these movies are meant to get you caught up. At first your not really tuned in until you look down and realize that an hour has passed and you’re totally engrossed in the life of this skinny white chick on screen who just wants some love. That’s all she wants. And your girl just wants you to love it to…which brings us to the ironic next point… <h2>…pretend you love it</h2> Huh? Explain that. Will do. Peace at home my friend. See, if you mock the chick flick, your girl will claim you have no heart, which is probably true…and she dated you anyway. However, acting like you LOVE the movie gets you all types of sensitive man points and since many women believe that if they like a movie it must be a good movie, then your girl will think that you have good taste in movies so when you attempt to throw on that pr0n entitled, “Staying Down Under” she’ll look forward to your movie selection. Or not. Or at least not after that. Those are 4 ways to enjoy chick flicks if you’re a guy. Fellas, do you have any other tips for watching chick flicks? And ladies here are two questions for you: 1) why do you all want us to like these movies KNOWING that they’re not meant for us know they even exist? and 2) Do the men in your lives seem to like these movies way more than they let on? My mind is telling meeeeeeee…yes.